Dec. 6, 2022 at 5:05PM
I had a near death experience today. It was due to negligence in all honesty, but still. Our car/house keys are on a lanyard, and I usually put them on my neck when I buy groceries and get home, so I can carry more in my hands... Well. I opened the trunk today with the keys while they were still around my neck, and after I got the bags out, I uh... I slowly lowered the trunk as well as my body to get closer to it and I thought I could just drop it where I was and it would be fine. Even though I was so close to it, I got jerked down pretty hard at the back of my neck. In shock for a few moments I stood there and dropped the bags... but I gathered myself, made sure I was fine, and then realized that if it had jerked me any harder, I probably could have been paralyzed or worse.
I am such a dumbass.
Dec. 4, 2022 at 6:10PM
Well... I don't have much to complain about lately. I'm really only writing a blog post to make sure the page doesn't get dusty and decay; wouldn't want any spiders to start crawling around. That being said, I've been thinking about doing game or show reviews, writing down all sorts of random stuff just to feel like I exist. I don't really know how to explain it, I'm starting to feel... Not real. I go live and there are people who show up; but by the end of it when I want to lift a smaller streamer up, no one is there to join the raid. I try working on my website, I get disappointed when I'm unable to be instantly gratified, or I feel bad about not working on specific aspects of it and I'm paralyzed from doing anything for the rest of the day. Yesterday, I drew chao from SA2. I thought I was having fun, but when all was said and done and I crawled into bed at 2am... I couldn't help but wonder: Did I really have fun? Did any of that really happen? How do I know I enjoyed myself? I think I did but...
Yeah.... I've. Had some seriously strange thoughts lately. Scary even. Let's move on to a different topic.
I'm shocked we have 8k on neocities now. I'm surprised anyone even decided to look at the website to begin with, but I couldn't have imagined we'd get this many views AND FOLLOWS. I'm around 20 right now I think? You guys actually like what I put on this blog/website? Man... I appreciate all the support. I'm like, super dumb and can't focus so progress has been slowed to a crawl around here. I do love it here though. Meeting new people and having nice short chats with you nice folk does a lot to keep a poor Gum's spirits high. Oh! I also wanted to talk about something else.
I used fiverr for the first time this week... Ordered some overlays and screens. They came out looking really good; but... you all probably know by now, with the livestream page's existence that I go by "gummyjon" elsewhere. I'm trying to just drop the "jon" part all over the place, it's not that it's not who I am-- but I've been confused about myself for a little while now so I'd like to just be Gummy. Anyway, point being: the screens all have gummyjon on them... Even though I asked for them to only say gummy.......... I used all my revisions up too so I couldn't just ask for it to be changed.... Or maybe I could've and I'm just too much of an anxious mess to ask any more of someone. Who knows?
Anyway, I am alive and well, despite my fluctuating existence and totally estranged emotions lately.
Nov. 30, 2022 at 4:40PM
My brain lately has been underperforming as hell. I want to work on the website but when I sit down to learn I can't focus. I don't want this blog post to remain on the negative but I made a new page from the about section essentially mirroring how I've felt the past week and a half.
Positives. Been playing .Hack G.U. for a while now. It's incredibly coincidental that I'm just NOW getting into the series, since it had it's 20 year anniversary this year. I kind of avoided the series like the plague since I was young. I woke up slightly one night when I was little, and overheard the japanese ED of the original .hack anime and... I firmly believe that is what gave me some insane nightmares for like a week. IDK. Something resonated in little gum's brain and sent me into perpetual mental torture for a week lol.
Anyway, the game is great- very cutscene heavy but it's an RPG, so I expected this. The game is designed to be a single player MMO experience, or as close as it can get for that age. You play as Haseo, a complete edgelord who has gone through tough depression over the course of a 24 episode anime which I did not watch- and Haseo grows over time and becomes more caring and understanding etc etc etc. It's rather cliche but I love the MMO aesthetic of it all; I used to play Phantasy Star Universe's Extra Mode all the time by myself, because I didn't have internet connection.
More positives.... Placid Plastic Duck Simulator! It's silly, a game that has literally no gameplay whatsoever has captivated me so- I imagine I'll drop it in a week but running it in the background and then coming back to it to see new ducks has been a very chill and stimulating experience. Perhaps the cure to ADHD is to dangle keys in front of the faces of the afflicted, because that's what I see this as- and it's working. Course, I'm not getting shit done, but... Whatever man! There's a duck that can fly out of bounds! It rocks!
Back to negatives; I was supposed to visit my dietician out of town today, but the taxi service I use just didn't show up in time to get me to my appointment an hour away. Not the first time it's happened, in fact I think I moaned about it before here. I cancelled without letting the driver know so if he truly was "on his way" then he must've gotten a silly little lecture for wasting time (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.). Asshole. There's a lady in the service who never fails to get me to my appointments, but anytime a guy is driving it just seems like they can't FIND my place. Christ sake, it's really not that difficult. Whatever.
I had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Monday that I missed too, I went at 12 and it was at 9 apparently. Soooooooo Cool. I was going to talk to her about trying to get back onto ADHD medicine(I was medicated when I was younger, couldn't imagine having gotten a wasted associates without it) but now I'm stuck calling every week to see if anyone made any cancellations, or else I have to see her in FUCKING FEBURARY!!!! Fantastic I know...
Man.............. ALl this stress and executive dysfunction I've had lately has left me with ZERO time to really understand myself, and the .hack escapism has got to stop, I know.... But.... I've got two volumes left so I might as well finish that.
Nov. 24, 2022 at 1:30PM
Happy Thanksgiving, Neocities! Sit down, sit down, we aren't gonna get too festive. I just wanted you to all know how thankful I am for 6,000 views! I also wanted to blog about the things I'm thankful for, as is the tradition since I'm not making some big facebook post this year as my friends have all scattered off that hellsite finally.
Speaking of friends, my god I have some of the best friends you can ask for. I wish we all lived closer to each other, but as I always say "online friends are still real friends," even if older folk and some therapists don't think that's the case. Anonicus, Dadhoc, of course I'm thankful for those two. Hell, Anonicus pulled me out of debt and fed me this morning. How could you not call him a saint? I don't even think I'm worth that.
I'm thankful my mother is still around. I'm such a ditzy forgetful nutcase that I don't even remember half my life, and my mom is so supportive of me even though I've moved out. We never had the most when I was growing up, but she definitely did her best to spoil me and make sure I was happy, so I couldn't ask for any more than that.
I'm thankful I have such a supportive girlfriend that when I bring up wigs completely off-hand, she tries to pull me into a conversation about how she'd be there for me and support me even if I was to "come out" as something else. I'M THANKFUL, HON, BUT I JUST WANNA COSPLAY OKAY? LOL.
I'm thankful that even though I'm a relatively small twitch channel, that I've still met some wonderful people and chatters thanks to me just sharing my dumbass playing games. I'll tell a story I haven't told too here- I started streaming not only because of Vinesauce, but also because of my friend when I was in High School. I'd always chill on the bed and watch him play single player games- my choice. I just had fun talking shit or making sillies while watching him play. Honestly? A real chat member disposition, but I try to make streaming work. I've been doing it since early 2015. That's a long time. Granted I've done it on and off on occasion, and the stream anxiety has caused me to stop streaming for months at a time a few times, but hey- I'm still standing. That's gotta count for something.
I'm thankful I managed to get started here on neocities thanks to sadgrl, and I'm thankful to those who've thought my stuff was interesting enough to follow- I feel shame that I haven't been able to transform this website into something fantastical yet, and I feel I'm letting y'all down for it, but I'm working at it! Bit by bit, we're getting there.
Anyway, I hope everyone stuffs themselves full of wonderful food today, and enjoy yourselves! You deserve it.
Nov. 22, 2022 at 4:45PM
Hey, I'm still totally in debt due to Streamelements! Other than that though, the past two days have been quite swell. Yesterday I decided to pull out my 9 inch crt to hook up my Dreamcast and go through some of my old burnt discs that my dad gave me when I was younger. They're all part of some of my biggest treasures, even though 90% of them don't work. I set it up for a stream and it was crazy, but I actually finally finished Super Puzzle Fighter 2 Turbo on normal. I love the last fight, it's hilarious, Dan comes out and the game pretends that he's the final opponent, when all of a sudden Akuma comes out of nowhere and raging demons' his ass. Anyway, a few of my favorites were still working, like Capcom Vs. SNK Millenium Fight 2000 and the Nesticle emulator. (❁´◡`❁) I won't lie, I love the Wii too but the Dreamcast will always be my favorite console. It's still dreaming, after all.
Today I'm having a good day too, outside of tooth pain, because I was reminded my fav show is back for a second season. Inside Job is an adult comedy show by Gravity Fall's creator Alex Hirsch about a group of people who work for Cognito Inc. a Deep State branch running about every conspriacy you can think of. The protagonist is a take no shit badass female scientist who struggles with her emotions and is always sabatoged by her terrible glory-seeking father. I'm binge watching the new season that released a few days ago, I super super recommend it! (There's one terrible character that never gets better tho, and that's Mike the mushroom. If you don't like him, don't expect anything meaningful out of his character because there is none.)
HOLY SHIT THEY MADE A JOKE ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY IN LOVE BEING ON THE SHREK 2 SOUNDTRACK, IDK WHY THEY FILLED THAT NICHE BUT MY GOD I LITERALLY ALWAYS POINT THAT OUT!!!! WATCH THIS SHIT!!!
Alright, having finished binging the new season I'm here to begrudgingly say... it's good. It made me cry. Made me think about my own happiness, what amount of it that I have. I won't spoil, just, give it a watch or a binge.
This page needs more positivity, have Tiny!
Tiny the mouse.
Birthday: November 11, 2009.
“I’m small and white and very sweet
From my long pink tail to tiny feet
And if you offer some tasty cheese
I’ll quickly say I’d love some please !”
Nov. 19, 2022 at 5:07PM
Oh boy oh boy do I have stuff to bitch about today. Streamelements, the middle-man I go through to get twitch sponsorships has fucked me big time. Evidently one of my sponsorships has been rendered null and void, including refund a month and a half after the fact- and they are trying to charge me back the cash they paid out to me. This is bullshit, as I am the sponsee here, and I don't even know what the fuck went on. It's asinine that they are unable to cover their own ass in situations like this. Actually more rediculous that they are pushing this problem on their associates as I'M not even the only one this has happened to. I have no idea what is going on- so I tried to go into town to my bank to check about overdraft protection... only to find out my bank isn't even open on Saturdays. Great. So I have to be awake at 6am on monday morning to call in to my bank and make sure THEY pay for it, so I'm only owing the bank. No clue how that's gonna happen.
I'd talk about yesterday but I don't really feel like it either to be honest. Sorry for all the strong language here, I'm absolutely torn apart by this random charge that is gonna cost me quite a bit this week. Might be back later to ramble, but don't expect any real site work to be done today. Jeez. See y'all later.
Nov. 16th, 2022 at 8:20PM
Tonight was anime night for me. After catching what I presume to be the flu (my covid test came back negative, thank god. I'd die if I had to go through those chills again,) I decided to settle in and catch up to some anime I'd been ignoring for the past few weeks. Dunno why, I just kinda stopped watching. There's tons of good stuff coming out this season if you're into it-- SpyxFamily is kind of a normie pick IMO, but it's really good. I get attached to the whole father-daughter relationship in media, especially when it's about attempting to be a good dad. I'm not on great terms with mine- I love David Productions animation direction for the remake of Urusei Yatsura. If you didn't know, that's where the space princess Lum-chan comes from. I've seen her around the internet from time to time posted in places with many people assuming she's just a "random anime design," so I feel like it's a little obscure.
I finally bit the bullet and watched what there was of BOCCHI THE ROCK today. Holy shit. I am blown away by the insanity that the animators have poured into this show, though I think I should say SOUL instead. Truly, watching Bocchi has had me crying multiple times.
and even debating making a vent blog page....
It's a show about a girl who went her whole life without friends and wants to be in a band so that she can say she's successful and popular. I'd be lying if I said I didn't relate to this at all, but, only a little. My school years is another story to tell at another time. Anyway, this show sets itself apart from WataMote by having a main character who is actually competent and capable of growth.
The other show I watched today (I only watched these two, I just wanted to put the good shows out there) is a bit of a guilty pleasure. I know Isekai anime are a dime a dozen, and it's not like I watch every single one of these that come out- in fact I actually hold a grudge against the genre due to the disappointment of Slime Isekai and Arifureta. This one though... It appeals to that father-daughter media yet again. Someone who reincarnates in a different world is brought into the world as a goddamn sword. Fortunately, he seems to be able to move through telekenisis, so he lucks out here. Anyway, to spoil a bit of it to pull you in: he's found by a catgirl from the black cat race- and they form a pact to get her to evolve and become stronger, and he an owner. This essentially grows into a teacher-pupil but more father-daughter like relationship and I find it adorable. It falls into a ton of the Isekai trappings a lot but I think it works around it well enough, as did the Spider-chan anime.(forget about that one already?)
Anyway, I plan to catch up to SpyxFamily, Urusei Yatsura, and Mob Psycho 3(which I already know the ending of as I read the entire thing in One's manga style) tomorrow. I do want to put more work in to the site as well... so hold me accountable!!!
Gummy!!! You have to finish working on the OC page tomorrow, at the very least!
Nov. 13th, 2022 at 2PM
Time for more bitching!~ At least it's not like, health problems and such. I absolutely have to stay away from Twitter man- half the reason I started this website was to get away from modern social media, but I swear to god every time I go on twitter I want to argue with people. There's a lot of folk who just have no common sense or don't really belong on the internet or I'd go so far as to say shouldn't put their thoughts on the web on that site. That's not really even me just being mean, it's just that there's tens of thousands of people echoing the same thing over and over like they're trying to confirm these things to themselves. ....Yes this was about Sonic. I recently looked at the cutscenes and whooo boy are they just the lowest effort thing I've seen them put out in ten years. Forces had better cutscenes. Really. Also, Eggman being flanderized into being some caring father figure instead of a menacing evil force makes me so angry. God I miss the Archie Comics.
Now for things that aren't related to my distaste of Sonic Team; Blade & Sorcery might be one of my favorite VR games on the market. It has a huge modding community that try to upgrade the game FOR the devs at every turn (the devs are thankful for this) yet any time there's a new major update to the game, they break everything. This pisses me off so much. Like what's the point of thanking people and going out of your way to break stuff(it is actually intentional at times, I've been in their discord for a while.) That being said, holy shit the game is fun when you can get it to run. Though you'll spend hours actually fixing things before you get to play. Seriously, I was going to stream ahead Anonicus so I could raid em, and it took me two hours to get the game running past the infinite loading screen. I had to uninstall and reinstall before it would work. Insane.
Another topic; this time related to my blog post a few days ago. The Pokemon anime is coming to an actual end this time. The studios working on the anime have been hemorrhaging money for years, and it's come to a head with the latest installments of the show. Apparently, even Netflix can't- or maybe Netflix doesn't want to- save the anime. It was basically confirmed by some of the writers a couple weeks ago that this will be the end- and the newest episode basically shows that as the case as well. I'll be real it was... actually touching... There was a scene which reinvigorated Pikachu with the power of frenship basically- which is a very overused trope imo BUT it works here because it shows Pikachu's connection with LITERALLY EVERY POKEMON ASH HAS EVER CAUGHT OR HAD. I was like, almost crying dude. Pikachu then proceeds to one-shot the champion's Charizard. Also Ash+Dawn basically confirmed canon so let's gooooo. (Dawn was the best companion, fight me.)
Anyway, if you've read this far, I appreciate you- I love you- and I hope my whining doesn't drag you down too much.
Nov. 11th; 10:40pm:
November 11th, 2022 at 1:36PM
Yeah, hey guys. I haven't had time to change the did you know for today for a couple of good reasons. Aaaaaand I'm having yet another bad day, of course.
So, to start the morning off, while I was still feeling well enough to, I called quite a few orthodonic surgeons, only to find out that none of them would take the insurance I have. As unfortunate as that is, I feel that it's even more unfortunate due to recent changes in my brain activity or thought process. I've had so much brain fog and forgetfulness in the past like, week, it's not even funny. On top of that, a bunch of random pains in the back of my skull too. I believe I've let the problem teeth get so bad without care that I am reaching a critical point- I'm not a dentist, I can't be too sure of that.
Next, my girlfriend's mother came by. I don't want to be the kind of person who perpatuates that one trope where it's like "grrrr i hate the mom in law" but I don't like her that much. She's still very much a helicopter parent and also holds back my girlfriend from doing things she'd like to do in life. On top of that, my gf has that innate fear of moving farther away from her because she's worried about what might happen if she needs her or something. I'll admit, I'm also like this with my mother, but my mom doesn't treat everything I do as an affront to god. Her mom and I've got into a shouting match years ago, over taking me to the doctor at one point. I had an emergency and our vehicle broke down, and my gf asker her mom if she'd take me on the way to the store. Her mom said yes, and it came to a head when she got here that she never had any intention of doing so. I ended up having to sit in a massive amount of pain while I waited for my gf to try and get the neighbors to help.
It might seem like I fall on hard times more often than I'm not but... I kinda do! Lol! I hope I'm able to come back with news that is actually nice soon..... Oh wait, that stye from a few days ago went away! That's good news! (❁´◡`❁)
November 8th, 2022 at 11:20AM
This sucks man. I think this is the first time I've had something like this. A story:
Last night, I was having a great time with my girlfriend, admittedly after being extremely tired from social interaction online. We laid on the bed and replicated the PC screen over to the bigger TV to emulate Kirby and the Forgotten Land on. I wanted to stream this game a long time ago, like when it came out, but things just kept coming up so I've decided to play through it on my own time. A little upset they don't let you just play as bandana dee in 1p, but it's cool, it gave me something to do with my gf.
Anyway, it's a super charming little game, much better than I expected it would be when it was announced. Mouthful mode makes me feel icky. I LOVE having the option to upgrade abilities and the HATS CHANGE TOO it's so adorable.
bla bla bla, GET TO THE POINT GUMMY. Sure. Ok. Sorry. Just wanted to talk about a fun time.
Point being, I have a fucking stye on my inner eyelid. I literally just woke up with this. Completely out of nowhere. What the hell man. When I was younger I had a little trouble with acne because I constantly ate greasy foods, but I haven't really had that kind of issue in ages. Hooooly hell this is uncomfortable. I'm going to the doc's later today to see if I can get eye drops or something to fix this.
November 6th, 2022 at 7PM
Well... Am I buying Sonic Frontiers?
I was originally going to host my second Twitch Subathon during the days of the 7th and the 8th, leading to us ultimately playing Frontiers on stream the moment it unlocked.
I think that plan has changed. There's some things I've read in leaks on /v/ about the game that don't particularly sit well with me. For one, forcing IDW canon in the game is a mistake in my opinion. Is it cool to make new characters in the canon? Sure! I love the Archie comics and that world so much, it's personally one of my favorite long running series. They did it all the time.
The thing is, though..... It doesn't feel right to me. It doesn't feel earned for these IDW characters, that've been around for barely more than 50 issues, to just be canonized like that. You know what I AM happy about though? Sticks' canonization.
Look, the Boom series had it's problems (mainly the entirity of the games) but the television show was a genuinely witty and fun romp. I still find myself chuckling at some jokes, dry or not, when I have it on in the background for noise. That being said, none of the characters felt like they particularly FIT into the Sonic universe. In the case of Sticks though.... Well.
For some reason, in the Boom show, they don't even try to integrate her into the group. She's just there. You don't really get used to her being there until the end- and I'll say I did come to enjoy her character as well. Thinking on it, in the "canon" group of characters, there's just not really any other character out there that has that same paranoid, wild, borderline schizophrenic attitude to them. She could easily be introduced as her own character in universe, and not have any competing conflicting characters to contend with for that spot!
That's personally why I think that her canonization is a good thing. Now... Nearly all new IDW characters either feel very muted for very much similar to other characters that are already pre-existing, and on top of this, motivations in the IDW universe in general are not particularly fleshed out either. There's no real DRAMA to the story. You're just reading a cartoon, aimed at children and nothing but. I will say that once Evan Stanley started getting the chance to show her writing skills off, the stories started to mature a bit- and I SWEAR I'm not just saying that because I love her Silver fancomic.
All of this being said.... I've gone on enough about the comics and Boom... Another downside is definitely the lack of real momentum in the game. I've watched release footage, and there actually is some momentum! ....While Sonic is in the air, or from jumping and dashing. No real buildup on ground. I know this director is insane, he was the one who led the direction for Forces, but for christ sake- people could control SA1 Sonic just fine! I know it's about control, to give you an infinite level of control so that you're able to come to a stop whenever you want, but that isn't how Sonic rolls.
Anyway, it's not all doom and gloom, the game genuinely is beautiful. Like, damn. Course, the world was designed for PSO2 New Genesis and has the same team working on environments as well, so of COURSE it looks PRETTY. Game does look fun enough to be decent. fr. I'm not fucking around when I say that, despite all of the shittalk I've done here on it.
I just don't have the dosh. tee hee. (=￣ω￣=)
Sorry, about the rant, I'm just very passionate about some of my hyperfixations! (。・ω・。)
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